Thursday, May 17, 2007


Got a suggestion to make our roads safer, less congested and faster, that is to confiscate and crush all Nissan Micra's and rescind the driving licences of all those who drive them.
I would suggest a start could be made with the particularly ridiculous Mk 2 'noddy’ car version (see above).

This would have massive benefits in relieving Traffic congestion as there would be far less driving on the outside lane of dual carriageways, just below the speed limit, without overtaking anything, there would be far less gaps in the traffic by people failing to keep up with the car in front and many more cars would be able to get through traffic lights when they are green, thus optimising the use of precious road space. Far fewer cars would be failing to drive through gaps big enough for a London Bus to go through sideways and you wouldn’t have to wait for the moron Micra driver in front of you trying to turn right, but needing the road clear for 2 miles in each direction before they turn out, thus speeding up the flow of traffic. Finally otherwise law abiding motorists will have far less chance of being driven to the edge of insanity by the Micra menace and will not feel the need to execute reckless manoeuvres in order to get past.

What is the problem with these people, is it that they learnt to drive in a Micra (seem to be the most popular driving school vehicle) and they are such poor drivers that they can’t think of using anything else? Whatever it is just get them off the roads NOW!

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At 10:22 am, Anonymous t said...

Completely agree, micras are a menace. Can we also get rid of volvos and chelsea tractors (especially the ultra wanky bmw ones)?

At 1:30 pm, Anonymous Nigel said...

Spot on. :D

At 5:52 pm, Blogger Hugh said...

I agree in general, though I can cite one notable exception - my lady friend Shirley (the one in my sig photo) has a silver Micra like the one in your entry. White knuckle ride does not do it justice - I have experienced more hairy moments cavorting round the streets of the Medway towns in the passenger seat than I have in my friend's Maserati 4200 Cambio Corsa!

At 10:00 pm, Blogger sibonetic said...

OK, Shirley's little silver one can stay, but that's it, no more compromises.
t am adding Volvos & Chelsea Tractors to the List. But wanky BMW ones only come 2nd to the ultimate in selfish driving machines the Porsche Cayenne.

At 6:39 pm, Blogger Hugh said...

100% agree with you regarding the Porsche Cayenne - My Dad is a resident of the Gallion's Reach nursing home behind Woolwich Arsenal; I visit him every day and the number of Cayennes' that live on the posh riverside development (Artillery Wharf) is astonishing. They are UGLY. Crap off road (get a Land Rover Defender for proper mud plugging). Technically BMW make some great cars - trouble is they are invariably driven by tossers and chinless wonders. I am ambivalent about Volvo, no strong feelings either way.

I DO like: Jaguar (old ones like the XJ-6 with the pepper pot alloys and the XJ-S), Porsche 928 (old too), Bentley (before the German takeover, naturally), Land Rover, Triumph (I have had loads of classic Triumphs over the years - I am a sucker for suffering!) I like OLD Rovers (when they were proper cars) like the P5B and P6. I also like Aston Martin and Maserati, but that is another dream.

At 9:25 pm, Blogger sibonetic said...

What I hate about 4x4's is their sheer anti-social nature, the attitude that because I perceive them to be safer for me me me, sod the fact they are f__k__g lethal to pedestrians, or the attitude, oh I can see what's going on ahead of me, but sod all the other poor sods in normal sized cars who don't get a chance to assess the traffic conditions 'cos their view is blocked by a gas guzzling monstrosity.

I always wanted a little MG, not one of the badge engineered Austins or latterly Rovers, but a cute little MGBGT would do me. However, due to having to ferry around various people with mobility issues, I in fact drive one of the worlds least trendy cars, which just happens to be incredible easy to get in and out of. (not too high, not too low, with 4 big doors and enough room in the boot for a wheelchair)
Not going to say what it is, just think of the 5 door version of a 'star in a reasonably priced car'.

Hugh, hope your Dad's OK, lost my Mum a couple of years ago, but me Dad, (touch Wood) is nearly 80 and going strong, in fact he has just come back from a walking holiday in Belgium and is off to do the same on the Isle of Wight in a couple of weeks time.

At 10:12 am, Anonymous t said...

You look like a wanker, talk like a wanker, dress like a wanker, BUT, does everyone KNOW you're a wanker? If not then the Porsche Cayenne is your car!!

An off-roader that cant really go off-road. A sports car thats not very sporty. A people carrier with low people capacity. A car whose sole market is those who have prosperity via simpleton culture.

I have to come clean with regard to 4x4s, I used to own a 1967 land rover and it was probably the best car I ever had. It was older than me and the thing that attracted me to it was that it was exempt from road tax. I used to take it through mud and perhaps its best use was u-turns over central reservations.

I wouldn't mind if Cayenne owners had fun like that with their cars but they seem to think they're for posing - yet they fail to realise what utter james blunts they look.

The worst case of cayennes congregating can be found by Colfes school in Lee with middle class, big-hair mums dropping off their dah-ling little Tristans. They can barely see over the bonnet let alone actually drive the things and beacause of this they block the road up something chronic.

At 8:16 pm, Anonymous Nigel said...

The school-run mums and others like 4x4s because they make them feel safer and give them a clearer view. So essentially we have some of the most timid, inexperienced, and unsafe drivers, driving around in the biggest and most dangerous vehicles.
Now that's what I call a recipe for disaster.
People in BMW or Porsche 4x4s are even worse. When will they learn that a car is no substitute for personality?


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